Memoirs & Fiction by Andrew Nixon
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs. 2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained. 3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade, v.. To attempt an explanation while drunk. 5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent. 6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the […]
Take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners: Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. Ignoranus : A person who’s both stupid and an asshole. Intaxication : Euphoria […]
Hypocrisy and the Media Evidence of March Madness: Three college basketball coaches have dominated sports and “news” media coverage this week. Let’s take a look at how the media has covered each one: Jerry Tarkanian: Elected to the Hall of Fame after being snubbed for decades. Rob Dauster of NBC Sports pretty well sums up […]
Thank you, Jim. talk about Social Distancing. Let me share some reflections… Last night, putting my thoughts together, sitting in my recliner, watching TV, trying to change channels using a Hershey bar, I pondered; Sixty years after graduation, we can’t see, hear or smell. No reaction time, but by God, we all still have our driver’s […]
I visited a monastery and saw a brother frying potato slices. I figured he was the friar, but it turned out he’s only the chip monk.
I accidentally got ketchup in my eyes. Now I have Heinzsight. No? Try this: Where is the best place to cook an alligator? In a croc pot. Still not there? Well, then, don’t ever confuse burro with burrow or people will say you don’t know your ass from a hole in the ground.
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