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Weekend Humor from many more clever than I

October 3, 2020 By Andy Nixon Leave a Comment

Take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

  1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
  2.  Ignoranus : A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
  3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
  4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.                     
  5.  Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
  6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
  7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.                    
  8.  Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
  9.  Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
  10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
  11. Karmageddon : It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
  12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
  13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
  14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
  15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
  16. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
  17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

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